Tuesday, January 11, 2011

UGGs = A Healthy Balance of Self Loathing and Ridiculous Comfort

I've been avoiding the UGGs trend since I saw my first pair out in California in summer 2004. That was also the first time I ever saw UGGs worn with a skirt in warm weather. I vowed that I would never EVER be caught dead in such ugly boots.

Then after that fateful summer, I went to Delaware for my first year of college, and every single sorority girl for miles was wearing the Greek uniform: Northface fleece, leggings, ribbons around their ponytail, popped collared shirt, pearls, and of course, UGGs. Actually, more common at Delaware was the combination of PINK brand sweatpants (that never actually were pink) and the boots.

And while we're talking about things that just don't work, lets talk about this whole leggings as pants thing. This is another thing that is not acceptable with or without UGGs.

Actually, there is an entire website devoted to why leggings are not pants. If you think that leggings are acceptable to wear with short shirts, check out www.tightsarenotpants.com. You can thank me later for saving you from yourself.

Alright, back to the UGGs. So I vowed never to do it. Well, that was until Jenna came and stayed over and left her shoes by the door. I threw them on to take the dog out and couldn't believe how comfortable the damn things were. Like slippers, but warmer.

So here we are in 2011 and I now shamefully own a pair of Bearpaw knock off UGGs. I will say that I did not pay over $40 for them which makes me feel slightly less sick to my stomach, but just the thought of having something in common with a bunch of orange, duck-faced, Jersey Shore wannabes does pinken my cheeks in shame just a little.

So, in light of my new boots, here are a few self-imposed rules to keep me from totally sliding into the black hole of popular culture:

  1. Only wear boots when it's below 40 degrees
  2. Don't wear boots with dress clothes or skirts
  3. Don't wear boots with leggings
  4. Avoid sunless tanner like the plague
  5. Don't wear PINK sweatpants out of the house...EVER
  6. Don't wear pearls with boots
  7. Don't make friends with the cast of Jersey Shore
  8. Don't tuck jeans into boots
  9. Don't tease or poof hair while wearing boots
  10. Don't give anyone any reason to compare you to Snooki while wearing boots


  1. lol, agreed! I have owned a pair for a long time, but very rarely wear them outside of the house (mostly reserved for putzing around the house and late night ice cream runs, when looks are the last thing on my mind.) I did however have to once convince Stew that he was not allowed to wear his outside of the house with shorts.
    They are unnervingly comfortable, but your rules are great and I wish more people would follow them. I'm from CA, and I was appalled by the number of people tragically applying Uggs to an outfit in DE. *shivers with the ugly memories of sorostitute fashion*

  2. I have a few pairs of Sheepskin boots. *NOT* UGG brand though - i get the Lamo brand from the kiosk at the mall. better made and more worth the money. :) but anyways - I wear them a lot THIS time of year out b/c they are good boots, and i have good traction and they keep me warm. :) The rest of the year they are at most slippers around the house. (But then you'd never catch me dead in a short skirt either )

  3. I have a pair of black boots that are apparently ugg-like. I didn't even know. Ilanna gave them to me a few years ago. I only wear them to play in the snow.